New Year Traditions

In Peru it is a tradition for those who plan on traveling that year to go outside with a suitcase or some other piece of luggage and run around the block (as quickly as possible.

In traditional Spain (and Latin America), it is customary to eat 12 grapes when the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Eve.

Though this custom is also practiced in Argentina and Chile, nations which are not typically categorized as "Andean", the burning of dolls is a major staple of New Year's celebrations in Andean countries, being particularly popular in Colombia, Ecuador, and Peru. What people do is make dolls, usually of old cloth or rags, in the semblance of someone who that person wishes to forget and to symbolically leave in the past

Irish New Year's Toasts

'Go mbeire muid beo ar an am seo arís.'
May we be alive at this time next year.

'Athbhliain faoi mhaise duit!'
A prosperous New Year!

In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship but never in want.

the boutonniere

The idea of the boutonniere comes from the ancient Greek, who believed that the flower and shrub could be used as a sort of charm or talisman to protect the groom and bride against evil spirit.

The boutonniere is usually a collection of one or two small flowers, with perhaps an accent of a bit of baby’s breath or fern. Most often, the boutonniere is worn for formal occasions, such as weddings or proms. It is always pinned to the left lapel of the tuxedo or suit.

winter

Winter either bites with its teeth or lashes with its tail.
~Proverb

Blow, blow, thou winter wind, thou art not so unkind as man's ingratitude.
~ Shakespeare

Merry Christmas from Connecticut!

Kaelin's First Christmas in America

An Irish Christmass prayer

Guímid ar son ár muintreacha agus ár gcairde
sa bhaile agus thar sáile ar an Nollaig seo

We pray for our family and friends at home
and abroad this Christmas.

Guímid go raibh grá agus síocháin Dé ag soilsiú
orthu gach lá.

We pray that the love and peace of God shines on them every day.

Mistletoe facts

Mistletoe is toxic to people, but the berries and leaves provide high-protein food for many animals. Many bird species rely on mistletoe for food and nesting material. Butterflies lay their eggs on the plants and use the nectar as food. Mistletoe is also an important pollen and nectar plant for bees.

American mistletoe, the kind most often associated with kissing, is one of 1,300 species of mistletoe worldwide but one of only two that are native to the United States. The other is dwarf mistletoe.

Irish Toast

May you never lie, steal, cheat or drink.
But if you must lie, lie in each other's arms.
If you must steal, steal kisses.
If you must cheat, cheat death.
And if you must drink, drink with us, your friends.

Irish Christmas Fact

Christmas whitewashing: Around Christmastime, you’ll still find the odd farm building out in the Irish countryside that looks like it’s just been whitewashed. Long ago, farm families cleaned and then whitewashed every building on the farm in December. They were covered in white paint or limewash, to symbolically purify them for the coming of the savior. The tradition traces back thousands of years, not just through Celtic culture, but through other Central European cultures as well.

Irish Christmas Fact

Before Christmas trees: Having an evergreen-type Christmas tree is a relatively new phenomenon in Ireland. Years ago, whole families went out to find holly bushes and ivy to decorate the mantelpiece and other parts of the house. Finding a holly bush with lots of berries was considered a harbinger of good luck in the coming year. Holly was also used because it allowed poor people to decorate their homes in the same way as those who were better off. The bush was so common in Ireland in winter there was plenty for everyone.

Irish Christmas Fact

"Little Women's Christmas," on January 6th, is a traditional day for Irish women to leave their housework behind and go out with each other to have fun. It's a very old holiday, kept alive today by a few enthusiastic Irish ladies.

It’s considered bad luck to take down holiday decorations before "Little Women's Christmas" (sometimes simply called "Little Christmas") on January 8th.

Irish Christmas Fact

A welcoming candle: A Christmas candle in the window, still popular not just in Ireland but here in the US, was long displayed as a symbol of hospitality (though Ireland never had a rule quite as strident as Scotland’s “first footing,” the New Year’s tradition dictating that one had to take in and lavishly entertain the very first person to enter one’s home after midnight). Window candles in Ireland were a symbol that the homeowner would welcome the Holy Family – unlike the inn keeper in Bethlehem who bore the guilt of having turned them away.During times of intolerance for Catholicism in Ireland, window candles also were meant to announce that it was safe to say mass in a home.

Irish Christmas Fact

On December 8th, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, virtually all schools in Ireland are closed for the day. It is traditionally the nation's number one day for Christmas shopping.

Children in Ireland are accustomed to finding presents left by Santa in their bedrooms, often in a sack at the foot of the bed. An occasional big gift may be left under the Christmas tree, but it’s usually unwrapped.

What To Eat in a Cold Winter

According to one source, the winter diet should have the following characteristics:

"Eat staple food. Protein, fat and carbohydrate are known as heat nutrients. Therefore, we should in winter increase the intake of staple food and grease to ensure the supply of high quality protein. Lamb, mutton, beef, chicken, venison, shrimp, pigeons, quail, sea cucumbers and other foods rich in protein and fat."

"Food rich in calcium and iron can increase the body’s ability to keep out the cold. Calcium foods include milk, soy, kelp, seaweed, shells, oysters, sardines, Shrimp, etc.; iron foods are mainly animal blood, egg yolk, liver, soybeans, sesame seeds, black fungus and red dates and so on."


jpr comment: This is the basic Eskimo diet!

Do Guardian Angels Exist ?

From the web....

"Years ago, when I had little desire to continue living but no longer suicidal, I was driving my car to visit a friend. As I approached her house, I didn’t park in my usual spot which was on a street about 75 feet from her house, a street which was above her house - to the left of a hill (she lived at the bottom of the hill). For some unknown reason, I pulled my car to the right on the bottom of the hill and still had my gear shift in drive and my foot on the brake when - a large car came speeding over the blind crest of this hill, ripping off the guard-rails which separated the street at the left from her house below. The car landed on its hood and would surely have crushed me to death had I parked in my usual spot for I would have been directly in its path as it came over the hill. What made me pull my card to the side where I did not normally park? That event convinced me that we do in fact have Guardian Angels."

gold in the USA

Gold mining in the United States has taken place continually since the discovery of gold at the Reed farm in North Carolina in 1799. The first documented occurrence of gold was in Virginia in 1782. Some minor gold production took place in North Carolina as early as 1793.

US gold production greatly increased during the 1980s, due to high gold prices and the use of heap leaching to recover gold from disseminated low-grade deposits in Nevada and other states.

In 2007 the United States produced approximately 240 tons of gold, making it the fourth-largest gold-producing nation, behind Australia, South Africa, and China.

the deepest well

On Russia's Kola Peninsula, near the Norwegian border at about the same latitude as Prudhoe Bay, the Soviets have been drilling a well since 1970. In 1985 it's depth reached 40,000 feet, making it the deepest hole on earth (the previous record holder was the Bertha Rogers well in Oklahoma--a gas well stopped at 32,000 feet when it struck molten sulfur).

It is not oil or gas that is being sought with the Kola well, but an understanding of the nature of the earth's crust.

That's 7.57 miles down showing how thin is the earth's crust.

An Irishman is a man who?

May not believe there is a God,
but is darn sure of the infallibility of the Pope...
Won't eat meat on Friday,
but will drink Jameson for breakfast.....
Has great respect for the truth,
he uses in emergencies...
Sees things not as they are
but the way they never will be.....
Cries at sad movies,
but cheers in battle....
Hates the English,
but reserves his cruelty for countryman....
Gets more Irish the further he gets from Ireland.....
Believes in civil rights,
but not in his neighborhood...
Believes to forgive is divine,
therefore doesn't exercise it himself....
Loves religion for its own sake,
but also because it makes it so
inconvenient for his neighbors....
Scorns money,
but worships those who have it...
Considers any Irishman who
achieves success to be a traitor

You are from Canada if

You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.

The next generation

Despite what it looks like, this is not a sea monkey or The World's Most Amazing Alien Baby. This is a 2.5 inch human offspring currently at 12.5 weeks, but like most of its relatives, a little larger than normal, measuring at 13 weeks. I am due June 18th. Prayers, well-wishes, and general hoopla welcome.

xoxo

Happy Birthday Mikey

May you live 10 years longer than anyone you know,
And may the devil take your worst neighbor by mistake on your last day!

rated 2nd most popular poem

Dreams


Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.


Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

~~ Langston Hughes

rated the most popular poem

Do not go gentle into that good night


Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.


~~ Dylan Thomas

medical benefits of pimentos

Pimento is better known as Allspice in some countries. The reason behind its name Allspice is that its aroma can be described as a mixture of scents of clove, cinnamon, cardamom, pepper and a few other spices.

Contains an Anti Oxidant: This property is in great demand these days as it is being viewed as the key to ever-youth and longer, healthier life.

:The Essential Oil of Pimento has a relaxing effect on the muscles, nerves, blood vessels and the brain. This way, it gives relief from stress, anxiety, anger, nervous afflictions, convulsions, hypertension, mental unrest, depression, insomnia etc.Tri

The health benefits of olives

Due to its antioxidant compounds, olives and olive oil help the body protect itself against heart disease, colon cancer and other types of cancer. Olive oil’s anti-inflammatory effects help reduce the severity of symptoms of diseases such as asthma, osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis.

longest poem

The longest poem ever written by one man is the Shah Namah, or “Book of Kings,” written by a Persian poet named Firdausi in the 10th century.

This poem, a complete history of Persia, contained almost 60,000 verses, occupied 2,084 pages, and filled nine big volumes. It took the poet 35 years to finish the work!

There was a reason why Firdausi wanted to write a very long poem. The Sultan of Persia offered the poet one gold piece for every verse he wrote. But when Firdausi had finished his long work and asked for his 60,000 gold pieces, the sultan sent him 60,000 silver pieces instead.

Firdausi was so angered by the sultan’s act that he gave away all 60,000 silver pieces, he even gave 20,000 of them to a beer-seller for one glass of beer!

a response to lesson 4

what is a poem?


a poem is anything and everthing
so might use it to sing
you can right a poem when your mad
or sad

you can right a poem about a poem
in your poem or about some foam
you can right a poem about a squeril
or about that lovely girl

you can right a poem anywhere
even when you have a scare
you can right the boogyman
or that guy in the closet named stan

so express your self
write a poem about your self
keep your head in a cloud
so write a poem to make me proud

~~JohnMichael Baldy

student answers

“To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.”


Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south.


There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever.


Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don’t why you should

student answers

“Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.”


“Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.”


“Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives.”


“Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.”


“To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.”


“For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops.”

student answers

“The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have ben taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.”


“A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.”


“The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.”


“A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.”

Student answers

“Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.”


“The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five – a, e, i, o, and u.”


“The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects.”


“The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.”

student answers

“Blood flows down one leg and up the other.”


“Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.”


“The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.”


“Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.”


“Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.”


“A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.”

quote

"The superior man is easy to serve, but difficult to please. The inferior man is difficult to serve but easy to please."

Confucius

quote

"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he be content to begin in doubt he shall end in certainty."

``Francis Bacon


jpr: as retiment begins

Lucys Song a poem by Charles Dickens

How beautiful at eventide
To see the twilight shadows pale,
Steal o'er the landscape, far and wide,
O'er stream and meadow, mound and dale!

How soft is Nature's calm repose
When ev'ning skies their cool dews weep:
The gentlest wind more gently blows,
As if to soothe her in her sleep!

The gay morn breaks,
Mists roll away,
All Nature awakes
To glorious day.
In my breast alone
Dark shadows remain;
The peace it has known
It can never regain.

lost and found

Long lost twins found each other at the wedding alter. A British court annulled the marriage after the twins, separated at birth, unwittingly married.

loss of a home

"A man's house burns down. The smoking wreckage represents only a ruined home that was dear through years of use and pleasant associations. By and by, as the days and weeks go on, first he misses this, then that, then the other thing. And when he casts about for it he finds that it was in that house. Always it is an essential -- there was but one of its kind. It cannot be replaced. It was in that house. It is irrevocably lost. It will be years before the tale of lost essentials is complete, and not till then can he truly know the magnitude of his disaster."
--Mark Twain

quotes on grief

"Peace, peace! he is not dead, he doth not sleep -- he hath awakened from the dream of life -- 'Tis we, who lost in stormy visions, keep with phantoms an unprofitable strife."
~~ Percy Bysshe Shelley

"For precious friends hid in death's dateless night."
~~William Shakespeare

Plumber's luck

A Phoenix plumber has found what is now being hailed as "The Diamond in the Roughage," an uber-expensive ring flushed down the toilet at a local diner. And he did it all for a $400 tip.

A California plumber found prehistoric bones in the muck at the Riverside County Flood Control and Water Conservation District -- and he could soon be wrangling gold piping if he gets to auction off his discovery.

Shocked workers at the Tiberias plant in Israel found about 7,000 shekels (about $2,000) in smelly sewage stuck in pipes.

Irish Birthday Toast

May God grant you many years to live, for sure he must be knowing, the earth has angels all too few and heaven is overflowing...

Comment: happy birthday John Patrick! May the pure flow freely but leave just enough sobriety to keep off the garda.

A reading from the book of Wisdom. Ch. 4: 4-15

The virtuous man, though he die before his time, will find rest.
Length of days is not what makes age honourable,
nor number of years the true measure of life;
understanding, this is man’s grey hairs,
untarnished life, this is ripe old age.
He has sought to please God, so God has loved him;
as he lived among sinners, he has been taken up.

world's tallest trees

1. Coast Redwood 115.56 m (379.1 ft), Redwood National Park, California, United States.

2. Australian Mountain-ash 99.6 m (326.8 ft), south of Hobart, Tasmania, Australia

3. Coast Douglas-fir ( 99.4 m (326.1 ft), Brummit Creek, Coos County, Oregon, United States

4. Sitka Spruce 96.7 m (317.3 ft), Prairie Creek Redwoods State Park, California, United States.

5. Giant Sequoia 94.9 m (311.4 ft), Redwood Mountain Grove, Kings Canyon National Park, California, United States.

6. Tasmanian Blue Gum (.90.7 m (297.6 ft), Tasmania, Australia.

7. Manna Gum 89 m (292 ft), Evercreech Forest Reserve, Tasmania, Australia.

8. Shorea faguetiana: 88.3 m (289.7 ft) Tawau Hills National Park, in Sabah on the island of Borneo.

9. Alpine Ash 87.9 m (288.4 ft), Tasmania, Australia.

10. Noble Fir 87.5 m (287.1 ft) Mount St. Helens National Volcanic Monument, Washington, United States.

famous ambidextrous people

James Garfield
Harry Truman
Leonardo da Vinci
James Woods
Benjamin Franklin
Paul McCartney
Bob Cousy
Maria Sharapova
Dick van Dyke
Kurt Cobain

Most expensive pets

10. Chinese Crested Hairless Puppies: $4,000-$5,000
9. Savannah Cat: $4,000-$10,000
8. Mona Guenon: $6,000
7. Debrazzas Monkey: $10,000
6. Striped Ball Python: $10,000
5. Hyacinth Macaw: $6,500-12,000
4. Reticulated Albino Type II Tiger Python: $15,000
3. Lavender Albino Python Female: $20,000
2. Chimpanzee: $60,000-$65,000
1. White Lion Cubs: $138,000

The Top Ten Best Selling Sodas

1. Coke Classic 17.2%
2. Pepsi Cola 10.7%
3. Diet Coke 10%
4. Mountain Dew 6.6.%
5. Diet Pepsi 6%
6. Dr. Pepper 5.9%
7. Sprite 5.6%
8. Fanta 1.8%
9. Diet Mountain Dew 1.6%
10. Diet Dr. Pepper 1.6%

most popular breakfast cereals

1. General Mills Cheerios
2. Kellogg's Special K
3. Post Honey Bunches of Oats
4. Kellogg's Frosted Flakes
5. Kellogg's Frosted Mini Wheats
6. Kellogg's Raisin Bran
7. Kellogg's Froot Loops
8. General Mills Cinnamon Toast Crunch
9. General Mills Lucky Charms
10. Quaker Oats Cap'n Crunch
11. Quaker Oats Life
12. Kellogg's Rice Krispies
13. Kellogg's Corn Flakes
14. All Others Combined

ten most common rashes

Eczema
Psoriasis
Allergic contact dermatitis
Ringworm
Viral exanthem
Drug eruption
Dry skin
Folliculitis
Scabies
Hives

After Justice

Joy divine,

Peace supreme,

by heaven's justice from a simple plea.


Jpr..."not expected but wished!"

quote

"Find expression for a sorrow, and it will become dear to you. Find expression for a joy, and you will intensify its ecstasy."

~~Oscar Wilde

Best Selling Halloween Candy

1. The best selling Halloween candy is the beloved Candy Corn.
2. The second best selling halloween candy is the delicious Snickers Bar
3. The third best selling halloween candy of all time is the Reese's Cup.
4. The fourth best selling Halloween candy is the Kit Kat.
5. The fifth best selling halloween candy is the Milky Way Bar.

HALOWEEN KID JOKE

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Thumping.
Thumping who?
Thumping green and scary just crawled up your trousers!

witch jokes

Q: What do witches eat at Halloween ?
A:Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and booberry pie !

Hmmm

How do you make God laugh?
Say: "This is mine".

quote

"I think it would be a good idea." --Mahatma Gandhi when asked what he thought about Western civilization)

more Irish Wisdom

What is gathered meanly, it goes badly.

However long the road there comes a turning.

What a person does not spend himself, his enemies spend it.

A wise man keeps his counsel; the fool reveals his.

Food is a good workhorse.

God shares with the person who is generous.

Baptize your own child first.

Patience is the poultice of all wounds.

haloween

They that are born on Halloween shall see more than other folk.
~Saying of unknown origin

Haloween

William Shakespeare....
'Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world.'

Haloween

George Carlin....
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

Haloween

Scottish Saying...
From ghoulies and ghosties and long leggety beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!

More Irish sentiment

If tears could build a stairway and memories were a lane.
We would walk right up to heaven ang bring you back again.
No farewell words were spoken.
No time to say goodbye.
You were gone before we knew it and only God knows the why.
Our hearts still ache in sadness and secret tears still flo.
What it meant to lose you, no one will ever know.
But now we know you want us to mourn for you no more
To remember all the happy times Life still has much in store.
Since you'll never be forgotten we pledge to you today.
A cherished place within our heart is where you'll always stay

Irish on death

God saw you getting tire dand a cure was not to be.
So He put His arms around you and whispered “come to me.”
With tearful eyes we watched you, and saw you pass away.
Although we loved you dearly, we could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us, He only takes the best.

Most used Philosophy

"Who says nothing is impossible.
I've been doing nothing for years."

~Author Unknown

poem

"Home is heaven and orgies are vile,
But I like an orgy, once in a while."
~Ogden Nash,

satire?

"A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him."

~Sir Winston Churchill

My kind of Mystic

A great name for a new country song:

"If I'd Shot You Sooner, I'd Be Out of Jail by Now."

~Author Unknown

An Irish Prayer

May those who love us love us,
and those who do not love us,
may God turn their hearts,
and if He cannot turn their hearts
may He turn their ankles
that we may know them by their limping.

facts about mountain men

FACTS

1. Most mountain men did not travel alone because they had families that traveled with them.

2. 84% of the mountain men were married.

3. Most mountain men had an average of four kids which often traveled with them.

4. 64% of the mountain men that were married had married Native American women.

5. Most mountain men hunted for fifteen years, then became ranchers or farmers.

6. The men didn't travel alone on foot, but by horses, mules, and canoes.

7. Most mountain men died of old age at the age of sixty-four. They lived longer then most Americans at the time.

my prayer

"Lord, protect me from the consequences of my petitions."

~jpr

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
nature.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

major mountain ranges in US

1. Rocky Mountains
2. Appalachian Mountains
3. Cascade Range
4. Sierra Nevada Mountains
5. Catskill Mountains

Ozark Mountains

Also called Ozark Plateau, is a heavily forested group of highlands in the south-central United States, extending southwestward from St. Louis, Mo., to the Arkansas River. The mountains occupy an area of about 50,000 square miles of which 33,000 square miles are in Missouri, 13,000 square miles in northern Arkansas, and the remainder in southern Illinois and southeastern Kansas. The Ozarks and the adjacent Ouachita Mountains represent the only large area of rugged topography between the Appalachians and the Rockies.

World History According to Students

During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe. Later the Pilgrims crossed the Ocean, and the was called the 6cPilgrim’s Progress. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by Indians, who came down the hill rolling their was hoops before them. The Indian squabs carried porposies on their back. Many of the Indian heroes were killed, along with their cabooses, which proved very fatal to them. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

Rocky Mountain Facts

The average snowfall in the mountains near Salt Lake City is 500 inches (over 40 feet!) - that is nearly five times the average snowfall of Juneau, Alaska.

Katherine Lee Bates wrote America the Beautiful after being inspired on the summit of Pikes Peak, near Colorado Springs. Trail Ridge Road, State Road 34 in Rocky Mountain National Park, is the highest continuously-paved road in the U.S.

World History According to Students

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespear. Shakespear never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived in Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies and errors. In on of Shakespear’s famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy. In another, Lady Macbeth tries to convince Macbeth to kill the King by attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Writing at the same time as Shakespear was Miquel Cervantes. He wrote “Donkey Hote”. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote “Paradise Lost.” Then his wife dies and he wrote “Paradise Regained.”

quote

"Those who endure conquer."
~A Motto

quote

"Nothing happens to any man that he is not formed by nature to bear."
~Marcus Aurelius

World History According to Students

Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the Dames, King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery, King Harlod mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings, Joan of Arc was cannonized by George Bernard Shaw, and the victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks. Finally, the Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

quote

"Hard pounding, gentlemen: but we shall see who can pound the longest."
~Duke of Wellington Arthur Wellesley

World History According to Students

In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athen was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn’t climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.

quote

"An arch never sleeps."
~Indian Proverb

World History According to Students

Without the Greeks, we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns – Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable. Achilles appears in “The Illiad”, by Homer. Homer also wrote the “Oddity”, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

quote

"The men who learn endurance, are they who call the whole world, brother."
~Charles Dickens

quote

"Endurance is the crowning quality, And patience all the passion of great hearts”
~ James Russel Lowell

quote

"Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes.”
~ Buddha

The Dream by Byron

.....
Sleep hath its own world,
A boundary between the things misnamed
Death and existence: Sleep hath its own world,
And a wide realm of wild reality,
And dreams in their development have breath,
And tears, and tortures, and the touch of joy;
They leave a weight upon our waking thoughts,
They take a weight from off waking toils,
They do divide our being;
.....

Often heard repeated by Abe Lincoln

world history according to students

Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. Lincoln’s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said, “In onion there is strength.” Abraham Lincoln write the Gettysburg address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also signed the Emasculation Proclamation, and the Fourteenth Amendment gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clue Clux Clan would torcher and lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career.

a famous dream

Dream Leads to Nobel Prize

Otto Loewi (1873-1961), a German born physiologist, won the Nobel Prize for medicine in 1936 for his work on the chemical transmission of nerve impulses. In 1903, Loewi had the idea that there might be a chemical transmission of the nervous impulse rather than an electrical one, which was the common held belief, but he was at a loss on how to prove it. He let the idea slip to the back of his mind until 17 years later he had the following dream. According to Loewi:


"The night before Easter Sunday of that year I awoke, turned on the light, and jotted down a few notes on a tiny slip of paper. Then I fell asleep again. It occurred to me at 6 o'clock in the morning that during the night I had written down something most important, but I was unable to decipher the scrawl. The next night, at 3 o'clock, the idea returned. It was the design of an experiment to determine whether or not the hypothesis of chemical transmission that I had uttered 17 years ago was correct. I got up immediately, went to the laboratory, and performed a single experiment on a frog's heart according to the nocturnal design."

unusual tale from Vermont

One man's Insurance against premature burial in Vermont
Things are looking up...for someone who's been dead for over 100 years.
Discover Evergreen Cemetery in New Haven, Vermont, final resting place of Timothy Clark Smith, whose 1893 crypt includes a window to help him escape in case he was buried alive.

a famous dream

Mary Shelley's Frankenstein Inspired By a Dream

In the summer of 1816, nineteen-year-old Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin and her lover, the poet Percy Shelley (whom she married later that year), visited the poet Lord Byron at his villa beside Lake Geneva in Switzerland. Stormy weather frequently forced them indoors, where they and Byron's other guests sometimes read from a volume of ghost stories. One evening, Byron challenged his guests to each write one themselves.

Mary's story, inspired by a dream, became Frankenstein.

Dudleytown, Ct

In northwestern Connecticut within the town of Cornwall, in the shadow of three mountains, lies the remains of Dudleytown. The small hamlet holds accounts of ghostly tales, demons, unexplained events, and curses coupled with over 400 years of British and American history -- including ties to King Henry VIII, Horace Greeley, General Heman Swift, and General George Washington.

Note from the Connecticut State Police: Those who go, or attempt to go to Dudleytown will be arrested for trespassing and/or parking. The fines start at $75.00 per person and rapidly increase.

Unusual facts about September

September is National Chicken Month.

It is also Cholesterol Awareness Month in America

September 9th is National Teddy Bear Day.

September 16th id National Play-Doh Day.

September 19th is “Talk Like A pirate Day” around the world…an International event.

September 12th is National Chocolate Milkshake Day

The 4th week of September is National Dog Week

The Ides of September - Roman Calendar

You may know that the Ides of March -- the day on which Julius Caesar was assassinated -- was the 15th of March, but that doesn't mean the Ides of a month was necessarily on the 15th. For example, today, September 13, is the Ides of September.

Nursery Rhyme

Monday's Child


Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child must work for a living,
But the child that's born on the Sabbath day,
Is fair and wise and good and gay.
~~Unknown

The Koran of Islam

We Christens practice abortion and have killed millions of our own unborn,
We Christens drive drunk and slaughter many families of our own on the highway,
We Christens sell drugs, embezzle, and extort our own for greed.

Perhaps one should listen to the good people of Islam and read their Koran before one thinks to destroy it. All religions have followers who fail their God.

quote

"I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.”


~~ Oscar wilde

A Ballad Sent to King Richard

.....

Truth is put down, reason is holden fable;
Virtue hath now no domination;
Pity exil'd, no wight is merciable;
Through covetise is blent discretion;
The worlde hath made permutation
From right to wrong, from truth to fickleness,
That all is lost for lack of steadfastness.
....

~~Geoffrey Chaucer

Poem

Common Cold

.....

Bacilli swarm within my portals
Such as were ne'er conceived by mortals,
But bred by scientists wise and hoary
In some Olympic laboratory;
Bacteria as large as mice,
With feet of fire and heads of ice
Who never interrupt for slumber
Their stamping elephantine rumba.

A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth!
Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth;
Don Juan was a budding gallant,
And Shakespeare's
plays show signs of talent;
The Arctic winter is fairly coolish,
And your diagnosis is fairly foolish.
Oh what a derision history holds
For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds!

~~ Ogden Nash

true ancient roman joke

A man meets an acquaintance and say "it's funny, I was told you were dead". He says "well, you can see I'm still alive." But the first man disputes this on the grounds that "the man who told me you were dead is much more reliable than you".

Poem

I Didn't Go to Chruch Today

I didn't go to church today,
I trust the Lord to understand.
The surf was swirling blue and white,
The children swirling on the sand.
He knows, He knows how brief my stay,
How brief this spell of summer weather,
He knows when I am said and done
We'll have plenty of time together.

~~Ogden Nash

An Ancient Rome history joke

1st Roman Soldier: What is the time?

2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII!

Poem

Fleas

Adam
Had'm

~~ Ogden Nash

Poem

Because I could not stop for Death
by Emily Dickinson


Because I could not stop for Death –
He kindly stopped for me –
The Carriage held but just Ourselves –
And Immortality.

We slowly drove – He knew no haste
And I had put away
My labor and my leisure too,
For His Civility –

.......


Since then – 'tis Centuries – and yet
Feels shorter than the Day
I first surmised the Horses' Heads
Were toward Eternity –

More Julius Ceasar

The chief reason his assassinators gave as a reason to hatch a plot to kill Caesar was the fact that he had failed to stand and greet the senators who later murdered him when they came to the temple of Venus Gentrix to inform him of new honors that had been bestowed upon him.

Apparently a lesson in ungratefulness was in order. Some of Caesar's supporters insisted that he did not stand due to a sudden attack of Diarrhea. .

I Am! by John Clare

....

I long for scenes where man has never trod;
A place where woman never smil'd or wept;
There to abide with my creator, God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept:
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie;
The grass below—above the vaulted sky.

More Julius Ceasar

Appointed at the age of 17 he was the high priest of Jupiter until the title was stripped from him along with his inheritance and his wife's dowry by his political rival Lucius Cornelius Sulla who seized control of Rome in 82 BC and had himself appointed as dictator.

Alexander the Great

Alexander's horse Bucephalas was a magnificent black stallion that had a white blaze on his forehead.

Lady bumber stickers

SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.

IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.

Megie's Laws

1. Don't add a second entagelment until the first is gone otherwise
you have one greater mess.

2. To be rid of an entagelment takes a painful act.

3. Entagelment is a necessry part of life.

Unusual birthday celebrations

It was the Greeks who started the ritual of a birthday cake and candles. The candles were a tribute to the goddess of the moon, Artemis. The Greeks were actually birthday manic. They celebrated the birthday's of the gods every month. Still, there were no celebrations for women or children. The male dominated society even continued celebrating male's birthdays for years after they died.

Birthday customs in Korea

Korea

This country celebrates the 100th day after a child's birth. Rice cakes, made with red and black beans, and sweetened with honey are passed out amongst family and friends. As the tradition goes, the more rice cakes handed out, the better. Offering 100 of these cakes signifies that the child will go on to have a long, happy life.

bumber stickers

Seen on a woman's car: "Men call us birds, we pick up worms"

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

unusual facts

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

America once issued a 5-cent bill.

Quote

"Honor the woman who fears the Lord,
Her sons will bless her,
and her husband praise her."

~~The Bible

bumber stickers

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

unusual facts

A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.

Heinz Catsup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles per year.

children

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

Mark Twain didn't graduate from elementary school.

unusual facts

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.

Armadillos can be housebroken.

cowboy joke

Political correctness

I think the political correctness is getting ridiculous. Today I overheard a little boy say he was going to go play a game of Cattle Management Specialists and Native Americans.

unusual facts

A mole can dig a tunnel 300 feet long in just one night.

Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it is known as Tennessee.

cowboy joke

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending
fences out on the range.

Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It's a miracle!”

“Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

unusual facts

The State of Florida is bigger than England.

Recycling one glass jar saves enough energy to watch TV for 3 hours.

Back to School

back to school

76 million is the number of U.S. residents enrolled in schools -- from nursery schools to colleges.

unusual facts

The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump.

The penguin is the only bird who can swim, but not fly.

back to school

$7.2 billion is the amount of money spent at kids clothing stores in August 2009.

School boys! School boys!

yes!

After many decades, I still wake on a school day to the call of my mother from all those years ago.

To the all students, teachers, and aides who begin another year of miracles...bono fortuna.

Irish Humor

There was an old man in Ireland one time who only had one son and he was in jail at Long Kesh Prison.

The poor man was on his own and there wasn't anyone in the parish to give him a hand to sow his spuds in the garden.

He wrote a letter to his son and told him his sad tale.

Without any delay, the boy wrote back, "IN THE NAME O' GOD ! Don't put a spade in the ground of that garden... That's where I hid the GUNS !!"

At 4 a.m. what happened but didn't a great crowd of British soldiers arrive and they dug the whole place over from side to side without finding anything.

The old man was amazed and he wrote again to his son telling him what had happened and that he couldn't understand it at all.

The son wrote back,"Don't do anything, father, just plant your spuds !"

Irish

There are 212 days 13 hours until St. Patrick's Day - Tá 212 lá 13 uair go dtí lá Fhéile Pádraig.

unusual facts about rain

The amount of water held in the atmosphere at any time is sufficient to produce about 2.5cm (1 inch) of rain over the surface of the earth.

The total amount of precipitation to fall to earth in one year is 5,000 million million tons.

Irish Wit

Father Murphy looks out his window one morning and sees a dead jackass on the lawn.

He telephones the police station and says: "There is a dead jackass lying on my lawn. Can you send a few fellows over to take him away?

"I thought that Last Rites was your business," says the policeman.

( Fr. Murphey remains silent for a couple of seconds...)
And then he says: "but first we must notify the next of kin."

Gilbert K. Chesterton

"A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author."

country saying

Busy as a stump-tailed cow in fly time.

unusual facts about beetles

Adult beetles have two sets of wings.
There are 12,000 different kinds of beetles in the United States.
•Most beetles only live for a year

country sayings

Happy as a dead pig in the sunshine.

William Shakespeare

"Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven."

country sayings

Learn to speak kind words, nobody resents them.

about cars

The first car for sale in America was the Curved Dash Oldsmobile. It was priced at $650.

Dancing in the Rain

http://www.theimprovisedlife.com/2010/08/15/

country sayings

Sure you can trust the Government, ask any Indian.

about cars

In 1923, 173 new inventions by women for cars had been reported. Among these inventions were a carburetor and an electric engine starter.
The first car radio was invented in 1929.

Beach yoga

Added to the lists of the world's greatest earthly pleasures (food, sex, drugs, alcohol, etc.) is Beach Yoga. Come as you are, forget about not getting sandy, and who cares if you have body odor. P.S. it's free. Your teacher will direct your limbs into various shapes and figures, but she will not explain everything, and sometimes say things like "move into an infinite skyward third eye drishti" and you will have no idea what she is talking about, but the person next you doesn't either, so you just go for it. People walk by with dogs and kids and stare. Just when you're burning and shaking and wondering what you've gotten yourself into and how long it will be before it's over, she tells you to lie on your back and close your eyes. You're not sure what happens next but at some point she comes over and pushes your shoulders down into the sand, presses her fingers into your forehead and temple, and pulls down your earlobes. Then it starts to rain. When it's time to get up you've decided that you've fallen in love with everyone in the class with you, even the desperate housewife, even the young bearded man who's engaged to someone's niece, even the thin woman who always seems to get everything right. And especially your teacher, who is usually just a waitress with you on the weekends, but now suddenly seems to be the most beautiful and talented person in the world. You wonder, would it be rude to cry? Transitioning back to the real world is near impossible; you sit in your car with your feet hanging out, trying to wash the sand off with a bottle of water before going in to work.

Steve Martin

" Boy, those French: They have a different word for everything! "

William Shakespeare

"Absence from those we love is self from self - a deadly banishment."

Gilbert K. Chesterton

"If there were no God, there would be no atheists."

about cars

Most American car horns beep in the key of F.

about cars

The automobile is the most recycled consumer product in the world today.

about cars

In 1916, 55 percent of the cars in the world were Model T Fords, a record that has never been beaten.

about cars

The first known automobile was built in 1668, it was a two foot long steam powered model constructed by Ferdinand Verbiest, a Belgian Jesuit preist.

by Emily Dickinson

The Heart Asks


The heart asks pleasure first
And then, excuse from pain;
And then those little anodynes
That deaden suffering,

And then to go to sleep
And then, if it should be,
The will of its Inquisitor
The liberty to die!

by Robert Frost

Dust of Snow


The way a crow
Shook down on me
The dust of snow
From a hemlock tree
Has given my heart
A change of mood
And saved some part
Of a day I had rued

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Forebearance


Hast thou named all the birds without a gun;
Loved the wood-rose, and left it on its stalk;
At rich men's tables eaten bread and pulse;
Unarmed, faced danger with a heart of trust;
And loved so well a high behavior
In man or maid, that thou from speech refrained,
Nobility more nobly to repay?
O be my friend, and teach me to be thine!

Southern Sayings

A whistling woman and a crowing hen never comes to a very good end.

about cars

The New York City Police Department used bicycles to pursue speeding motorists in 1898.

The first speeding ticket was issued in 1902.

Ko-Ka Ko-la

When Coca-Cola was first introduced to China a short time ago, the company had some difficulty spelling the product's name in Chinese, while keeping the same pronunciation ("ko-ka ko-la") ... the first attempt translated to "bite the wax tadpole." Finally they arrived at something which translated to "may your mouth rejoice," and now Coke is selling quite a bit better.

Yoke

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
Now you know why they call it a workstation!

dumb Yoke

A man gave the waiter his order, "Black coffee, no cream"
The waiter came back and apologized, "I'm sorry, we're out of cream. Would you take your coffee without milk?"

Quotes by Women

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
- Helen Hayes

Yoke

A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion.

The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head. "There" says the vet,” Your hamster is dead".

Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head. "It's definitely dead sir", says the vet.

Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be $1000, please". "A $1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man. "Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".

Quotes by Women

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
- Bette Davis

Quotes on Women

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
- Jane Sellman

Chinese Internet

Internet is becoming popularized in China. More and more people have opened an email account. However, there are still some problems with this new media. Mis-delivery is a serious one. Last week a Beida graduate student called Li Na tried to send a "have a try" email to his classmate Zhao Wen-Jian, but that message was sent to Mr. Li Peng, one of the top leaders in China, by mistake. As a result, Mr. Li was surprised by the following message: "Hi, Fatty: How are you? This is only a try. By the way, the yellow joke you told last night is just great."

The next day, Li Na received an email from "security@zhongnanhai.cn" in which he was told: "We have evidence to proof that you have been tapping the highest security hotlines of government. Any attempt to bug the telephone talk of country leaders is illegal."

Footnote: Li Peng is the Premier who ordered to kill Peking students in Tiananmen Square in 1989 crackdown.

Chinese Proverb

Do not employ handsome servants.

Woman's quote

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
-Mae West

Famous speech impediments

Moses - According to the Bible, Moses had a speech impediment. When God told Moses to free the Israelites (Jews) from slavery in Egypt, Moses replied, "But my Lord, never in my life have I been a man of eloquence, either before or since you have spoken to your servant. I am a slow speaker and not able to speak well" (Exodus 4:10). In Koran, 20:26-29 Moses said "Lord, open my breast, and do Thou ease for me my task, Unloose the knot upon my tongue, that they may understand my words." The analogy of a knot upon his tongue refers to his stuttering.

famous people who have and had speech problems

Walter Bruce Willis (born March 19, 1955) is a German-born American actor and singer. He came to fame in the late 1980s and has since retained a career as both a Hollywood leading man and a supporting actor. Bruce Willis has had stuttering problems throughout his youth. He successfully grew out of it from being an actor, which actually removed his speech disorder.

Dysprosody

Dysprosody is the rarest neurological speech disorder. It is characterized by alterations in intensity, in the timing of utterance segments, and in rhythm, cadence, and intonation of words. The changes to the duration, the fundamental frequency, and the intensity of tonic and atonic syllables of the sentences spoken, deprive an individual's particular speech of its characteristics. The cause of dysprosody is usually associated with neurological pathologies such as brain vascular accidents, cranioencephalic traumatisms, and brain tumor.

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr suffers from spasmodic dysphonia.

Dysprosody and the Foreign Accent Syndrome

There has been documented focal brain injuries in the left cerebral hemisphere, and the foreign accent syndrome has emerged after a period of recovery from muteness, and/or motor speech disorder.

famous speech disorders

Winston Churchill - Churchill described himself as having a "speech impediment", which he consistently worked to overcome. After many years, he finally stated, "My impediment is no hindrance." Churchill Centre has concluded that he lisped. Churchill's impediment may also have been cluttering, which would fit more with his lack of attention to unimportant details and his very secure ego.

- Chinese Proverb

Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.

Czech Proverb

“Do not choose your wife at a dance, but in the field among the harvesters”

~ Mother Teresa ~

"Death is nothing else but going home to God,
the bond of love will be unbroken for all eternity."

not done with george

22. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

George Carlin Strikes Again

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in . . . what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when:

. Your grandfather had a fig tree.

. You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.

. Christmas Eve . . . only fish.

. Your mom's meatballs are the best.

. You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.

. Plastic on the furniture is normal.

. You know how to pronounce "manicotti" and "mozzarella."

. You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy."

. You've called someone a "mamaluke."

. And you understand "bada bing"

yoke...You Might Be A Redneck If

Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.

You've ever hitchhiked naked.

You've ever shot a deer from inside your house.

You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.

yoke..You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If

Sandpeople back down from your mama.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok... without using the word "chicken".

You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

Late entry: Poem memorization

a selection from Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnets from the Portugese

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach
When feeling out of sight for ends of Being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need,
by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for light,
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with passion put to use in my old griefs,
and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints -
I love thee with the breath, smiles, and tears of all my life!
And, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes

That's not right...
Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive?...
Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me ASAP...
Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man...
Dum Gai

Small Horse...
Tai Ni Po Ni

Did you go to the beach?...
Wai Yu So Tan?

I bumped into a coffee table...
Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a face lift...
Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here...
Wai So Dim?

I thought you were on a diet...
Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone...
No Pah King

Our meeting is scheduled for next week...
Wai Yu Kum Nao?

Staying out of sight...
Lei Ying Lo

He's cleaning his automobile...
Wa Shing Ka

yoke

Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
"I'm OK but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.
"What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS!"

poems to memory

I. The humorus poem to mind is "Old Man of Kilkenny" :

There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,
Who never had more than a penny;
He spent all that money,
In onions and honey,
That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.


II. The classic poem to mind is "A Word to Husbands by Ogden Nash":

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.


comment: I could only keep these poems in memory as long as there was brandy in the jar!

Human vestigiality

items lost by man due to evolution or aging:

1. appendix
2. the coccyx or lost tail bone
3. Plica semilunaris a membrane in the of the corner of the eye
4. muscles in the ear
5. human memory

from "The Master Speed" by Robert Frost

Two such as you with such a master speed
Cannot be parted nor be swept away
From one another once you are agreed
That life is only life forevermore
Together wing to wing and oar to oar.

quote

"You create your opportunities by asking for them.”
~~Shakti Gawain

quote

“Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”
~~ Mahatma Gandhi

quote

“He who is afraid of asking is ashamed of learning.”
~~ Danish Proverb quotes

Poem memorization contest

Reciting poems from memory is not only part of our ancestral domain but good for keeping our minds sharp. Choose one classic and one contemporary poem to memorize in one week's time. Submit from memory as a blog post on Monday, July 19th. Level of difficulty will be recognized by the judges.

quote

"With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on earth God's work must truly be our own."
- John F. Kennedy

Chinese word "an"

"An" is the noun for peace. The Chinese symbol for peace is written as a woman under a roof. In its original form the symbol shows a picture of a woman sitting peacefully at home.

quote

"Many things are lost for want of asking."
- English proverb

quote

"If you don't ask, you don't get."
~~ Mahatma Gandhi

The symbol of Medicine

It is hard to trust a profession that cannot even get its symbols straight. Most physicians in the United States think that the symbol of their profession is something called the caduceus. But this is actually not true. Historians have discovered that someone in the U.S. Army Medical Corps mistook the caduceus for the Rod of Asclepius (an ancient symbol associated with Astrology) and introduced the Medical Corps' symbol at the beginning of the twentieth century. Soon thereafter, everyone in the United States was emulating the mistake.

quote

"Better to ask twice than to lose your way once."
~~Danish Proverb

quote

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek; and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened."
~~Bible

quote

"Man who waits for roast duck to fly into mouth must wait very, very long time."
~~Chinese Proverb

quote

"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.”
~~Oscar Wilde

ancient Celtic symbols

Hounds - loyalty
Lions - nobility, strength
Snakes - rebirth (Dragon or serpent designs may be interpreted the same as snakes)
Birds - purity (peacocks) or nobility (eagles)
Salmon - knowledge
Bull - strength
Boar - ferocity, strength

Consolation

How agreeable it is not to be touring Italy this summer,
wandering her cities and ascending her torrid hilltowns.
How much better to cruise these local, familiar streets,
fully grasping the meaning of every roadsign and billboard
and all the sudden hand gestures of my compatriots.

There are no abbeys here, no crumbling frescoes or famous
domes and there is no need to memorize a succession
of kings or tour the dripping corners of a dungeon.
No need to stand around a sarcophagus, see Napoleon's
little bed on Elba, or view the bones of a saint under glass.

How much better to command the simple precinct of home
than be dwarfed by pillar, arch, and basilica.
Why hide my head in phrase books and wrinkled maps?
Why feed scenery into a hungry, one-eyed camera
eager to eat the world one monument at a time?

Instead of slouching in a cafe ignorant of the word for ice,
I will head down to the coffee shop and the waitress
known as Dot. I will slide into the flow of the morning
paper, all language barriers down,
rivers of idiom running freely, eggs over easy on the way.

And after breakfast, I will not have to find someone
willing to photograph me with my arm around the owner.
I will not puzzle over the bill or record in a journal
what I had to eat and how the sun came in the window.
It is enough to climb back into the car

as if it were the great car of English itself
and sounding my loud vernacular horn, speed off
down a road that will never lead to Rome, not even Bologna.

-Billy Collins

Paul Lynde

Peter Marshall: According to the IRS, out of every 10 Americans audited, how many end up paying more taxes?
Paul Lynde: 11.

George Carlin

“If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?”

John Wayne

“I never trust a man that doesn't drink.”

George Carlin

“The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.”

Goofus Minorus _4

Meet Buford Prichard a member of the rural community. He is an untidy slovenly man. His small farm is also let to disorder. Buford’s sole interest is with ale. However the man is not a drunkard and he is a considerate husband and father.


“Buford what are you up to out there?” Mrs. Prichard asks.
It is late afternoon and Buford is seated on the front porch sipping a pint of ale.
“Killing fly!” The man calls in return. “My daddy killed fly. His daddy killed fly.”
“If the barn yard was cleaned up proper we should not have all these flies about the place.” Mrs. Prichard is dauntless in encouraging the man.
“Killing fly is like fishing except the critters come to me direct and eager.” The man blusters. “Takes a special ability to kill fly!”
“Well what skill are you practicing with all the ale you are consuming?” The woman wants changes in the man.
“Ale steadies the hand, relaxes the eye.” Buford responds.
“It seems to me that you are always relaxing! Whatever causes you stress?” The woman is frustrated.
The man looks in her direction, considers the wisdom in his response. “Being without you dear!”
“Why don’t you finish digging that drainage ditch behind the hen house then sit down with your ale?” Mrs. Prichard is relentless.
“The rains be coming and the runoff will wear on that ditch.” Buford sips tastes from his pint. “Nature will do most of the labor!”
“Man needs time to kill fly!” He reminds his wife.

Paul Lynde

Peter Marshall: "Right after Trigger died, what did Roy Rogers announce he would do?"
Paul Lynde: "Dismount."

Some Oscar Wilde

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”

“Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.”

“Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.”

Later

"A misty morning does not signify a cloudy day."

– Ancient Proverb

Mrs. T

Here is a handwritten note that was found on the wall in Mother Teresa’s room after she passed away.

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends, and some true enemies; be successful anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, others may be jealous; be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

Dumb joke

Q:Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
A: Fry-day!

Goofus Minorus_3

Meet Abby, Avril, and Alicia La Fontaine. Three (3) middle aged sisters are committed spinsters. Their love of gossip, has occupied their lives leaving little time for others. The three ladies are inseparable in time as well as looks. Comely in appearence but cold in hearts are the three.

“After the library, we should stop at Mr. Dittwhiler’s Store. He has a selection of new mirrors in stock. “Alicia informs. “I would love to see my self in a top quality looking glass.”

“Last year’s early spring left my complexion with rosy blotches.” Abby responds.” I hope this year will be a proper spring.”

“Mr. Dittwhiler’s wife left him recently!” Avril announces. “Those blotches are hardly noticeable, Abby.”

“No!” Shouts Abby in delicious surprise. “I fear that there are the remains of one or two of the most serious blemishes.”

“I heard he had a first wife that did the same thing when he lived in Portsmouth!” Alicia gasps. “I can’t even recall those red marks on you, Abby”.”


“With whom did she run off?” Abby inquires. “Mr. Dittwhiler is such a handsome gentleman.”

“They say she is with a man that works down on the docks…a delivery man.” Squeals Avril. “A rather offish man at that!”

“Oh how dirty that all sounds.” Moans Alicia. “I always thought there was something very unordinary and deeply common about Mrs. Dittwhiler."

“She has always wears a distant look upon her face.” Abby recalls. “The kind of blanch that one doesn’t see upon a healthy soul.”

“I know the woman who helps at his store.” Teases Avril. “Let us top and see what news my friend has to offer.”

In truth Mr. & Mrs. Mr. Dittwhiler were childhood sweethearts. The man has only had the one wife. Mrs. Dittwhiler has not left her husband but is traveling with her first cousin, a naval officer upon a several days journey to a family gathering.

Happiness

"For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of HAPPINESS."
~~ Anonymous

quote on love

"Treasure the love you receive above all. It will survive long after your gold and good health have vanished."
– Og Mandino

Dumb joke

Question: How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
Answer: By dropping it seven feet – it won’t break for the first six.

Dumb joke

Question: How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
Answer: By dropping it seven feet – it won’t break for the first six.

Chicken eggs

A hen will lay one egg a day.
A chicken can lay up to 900 eggs in a lifetime.

Summer Solstice

On June 20, 2008, the North Pole will tilt most directly toward the sun, so that the noon sun appears at its highest point in the sky—nearly directly overhead. This is the year's longest day in terms of daylight hours.

At the same time, in the Southern Hemisphere, the pole is tilted farthest away from the sun, and the June solstice falls in winter, marking the shortest and darkest day of the year.

Happy Summer!

medical benefits of duck eggs

HEALTH BENEFITS: Duck eggs are sought by cancer patients. Apparently, duck eggs are alkaline (basic), chicken eggs are acidic. Cancer cells don’t thrive in a basic environment, so some cancer patients adjust their body’s environment by eating alkaline foods like duck eggs.

Goofus Minorus_2

Meet Colonel B B Hagis retired as the former commander of His Majesty’s 44th Highland Regiment. B B is a burly man with thick red hair and wearing heavy chops and mustache upon his face. He always presents himself well groomed and wearing a formal kilt and tartan coat.

The colonel is an impatient man with an aggressive ‘take charge’ personality. His retirement is trying so he must invent problems to solve in order consume his day.


“Harriet!” Barks the colonel at his wife. “Front and center!”
Mrs. Haggis enters the parlor. Her wet hands she is drying in her apron.
The colonel lowers his newspaper.
“Have you n any idea how foolish the town’s counsel has acted on the issue of leashed pets?” The colonel is agitated.
“No dear! I have too much work with all the canning that has to be done from the garden.” The lady’s hair is damp from the heat in the kitchen.
“These brigands have passed the absurd requirement that all pets be leashed in the city park!” The gentleman waits for wife’s response.
“We don’t own a pet dear!” Harriet retorts.
“How is man supposed to train his dog without the proper drills?” The colonel asks. “Do they expect me to go along with leash in hand when I wish to run the dog?”
“Dear we don’t own a dog and never have!” Harriet is perplexed. “Do you plan to exercise someone’s pet?”
“Apparently I shall never be able to do so under this confounded new ordinance!” The colonel grows angry. “Neither shall you Harriet ever again run the dog!”
“I have never run a dog!” She replies.
“Precisely! Your rights are being been denied. I shall leave for the city building at once and protest in your name!” The colonel folds his paper. “I shall pass the pet shop and see if they have a dog you might take to!”

Blessing for fathers

For our fathers, who have given us life and love, that we may show them respect and love, we pray to the Lord.

Irish saying

Here's to lying, stealing, and cheating!
May you lie to save a friend;
May you steal the heart of the one you love;
and may you cheat death.

Irish saying

Walls for the wind
And a roof for the rain,
And drinks beside the fire.
Laughter to cheer you
And those you love near you.
And all that your heart may desire.

Irish saying

Here's that we may always have a clean shirt,
A clean conscience,
And a guinea in our pocket.

Goofus Minorus_1

Meet Rev Ickes R Bumbry, vicar of queen’s Church Forks Road ,Someford. The pastor is an elderly gentleman who is not known for his scholarly theology. Rather he is easily confused by numbers, has poor vision and a distracting speech impediment. Our cleric is however the first cousin of the bishop who serves the Queen.



“Alewua! Alewua!” The reverend calls as he begins his sermon.

“Aleluia! Aleluia!” Returns the congregation.

“Today’s message takes us beyond knowing the difference between wight and wrong.” The vicar stammers. ‘It is our call to wightousness!”

The community strains to become comfortable.

“When 300 Amonites stood in wightousness against 5000 Hitties, they feared no loss but knew they would be victowious even unto their death.” The old cleric’s voice lifts.

“That day 10,000 died on the field of battle and wightousness pwevailed.” The parson continues.

“Where did la those extra dead soldiers come from?” Mrs. Cartwright whispers to her husband.

“It seems the good reverend counts twice the deficit …much as a government official.” Mr. Cartwright answers.

“The wicked shall be punished!” The reverend adds. “Consider the three criminals that are to be executed for seduction of the Queen.”

“My word! Three unrepentant men seduced her Majesty!” Mrs. Cartwright whispers.

“I believe my dear that sedition was the crime!” Mr. Cartwright corrects.

“Let us pway!” The minister commands.

“Lead me ,guide me along the way,
If you lead me I cannot stway,
Lowd let me walk this day with thee.”

“Amen!” The reverend ends

Irish saying

Here's to a long life and a merry one;
A quick death and an easy one;
A pretty girl and an honest one;
A cold beer -- and another one!

What it means to be irish part 3

19) You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking.

20) "Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the fridge."

21) You're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.

22) There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.

23) You are, or know someone, named "Murph".

24) If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac, if you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know Sully, and you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy

25) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.

26) Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room.

27) And last but not least... Being Irish means... your attention span is so short that ... oh, forget

What it means to be irish part 2

10) You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling.

11) You're strangely poetic after a few beers.

12) You're, therefore, poetic a lot.

13) You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.

14) Some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations.

15) Your sister will punch you because your brother punched her.

16) Many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary....and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth.

17) Someone in your family is incredibly cheap. It is more than likely you.

18) You may not know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.

coming attractions

I shall be trying out characters over the next month or two on this blog for a coming new novel (a comedy). Your patience and commentary is needed as well as suggestions specifically wrt some personae.

respectfully,

jpr

Repentence

If you have sinned, do not lie down without repentance; for the want of repentance after one has sinned makes the heart yet harder and harder”

~~John Bunyan

Repentence

Bad men are full of repentance.
~~ Aristotle

Request

What about "Water boiling except then you forget about it and it all evaporates and the pan gets scorched" ?

or "Water boiling to sanitize rudimentary medical tools for deep splinter removal"?

Just saying....

joke

The girl knelt in the confessional and said, 'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.'

'What is it, child?'

'Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am.'

The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, 'My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake.'

sin

God had one son on earth without sin, but never one without suffering.
~~Saint Augustine

sin

There is no sin except stupidity.
~~ Oscar Wilde

sin

The sinning is the best part of repentance.
Arabian proverb

sin

Few love to hear the sins they love to act.
~~ William Shakespeare

sin

The just man may sin with an open chest of gold before him.
~~ Italian proverb

really dumb joke

A woman walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey where'd you get the pig?"
The women says "This isn't a pig it's a duck"
and the bartender says "No, I was talking to the duck!"

relief

"Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain."
~~ Charlie Chaplin

For Mikey

"Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark." - Rabindranath Tagore

yoke

Q. What Goes Peck, Peck, Peck, Boom?
A. A Chicken In A Mine Field.

grief

"Grief brims itself and flows away in tears."
~~ Proverbs

Trivia

From The Best and Worst of Everything, Parade Magazine, Sunday December 28, 1997, Page 10.
Initially from the Rocky Mountain News, "BEST EXPERIMENT"
"If you are caught without an umbrella when it starts to rain, will you stay drier by running to shelter instead of walking?
Thomas Peterson and Trevor Wallis, of Asheville, N.C., both climatologists, calculated that running made one 44% drier over 100 meters (about 328 feet).
To test their findings, they measured off a 100-meter course and waited for it to rain. They wore identical dry clothing that had been weighed before the test (they wear the same size) and wore plastic bags under their clothes to trap any water that might seep through. Peterson walked the course, while Wallis ran. Afterward, they weighed the clothes again. The result: Wallis' clothes were 40% drier.

joys

"My plenteous joys, Wanton in fullness, seek to hide themselves In drops of sorrow."
~~William Shakespeare

Herbert Hoover

Since President Hoover was a Quaker he did not take an oath of office. He affirmed his presdency.
President Hoover was one of two Presidents who did not accept a salary for being President. He donated his salary to charity.
Charles Curtis, Hoover's vice president, was the only nonwhite person to be elected vice president of the U.S. He was a Kaw Indian.
When the Hoovers wanted to speak privately while in the presence of White House guests, they spoke Chinese.

sorrow

"A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken."
~~Proverb

sorrow

"For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow."

~~ Scripture

In honor of Memorial Day

Letter from Bill McDonald to Mary McElwain November 11 1942

Hello Dear,

Received a letter today and one yesterday. Very nice.

Do you know what I want for xmas....You!!! See if you can get it for me. The furlough rumor is out again. This time it is 7 days with travelling time. If so that will give me about 8 days. None are to exceed 15 days. I could mooch a day or two, that sure would make a nice xmas.
Dear, going over seas is something I don't like to talk about very much. It is so uncertain. Some fellows have been writing home, that are in other divisions, and saying they are going over. They have been doing that ever since they have been in the army, yet the are still on this side. You see there are so many things happening that lead them to think that way. Things like the issuing of new equipment and certain other things but yet that isn't a definite sign. You can never tell until you go. With the opening of the new front, things are more uncertain than ever. They are going to need lots of men over there. Frankly I think it will be another 6 months before this division goes over, if it ever does. I think the war will be over in another 6 months if not sooner. I think we may move to the east coast and lay there for 3 months or so. That seems to be the opinion of most of the fellows here. (Dinah Shore is singing "I am Dreaming of a White Christmas the song that makes me very homesick for you.)
I could do several things to keep from going over, but that is being a coward. Such things as O.C.S. and the air corp. But I won't do it. If I should go over it is very certain that I will come back. That you can depend on.
This outfit here is very discouraging some times, yet I like it. Several of us have been pushed around when it comes to ratings, yet when we go into actual combat, things will be a different story. You don't become a hero or get much praise but we do our work and do it well. We are doing our part anyhow.
Honey, I hope this letter doesn't make you feel bad and not do anything hasty or foolish. I am sure it won't though. This is a subject I don't like to think much about as I said before don't put too much stock in what I have wrote here because things are so uncertain. This is just my opinion.
They had to issue me new cloths today. I have been running around with my knees and a-- sticking out. It got too chilly at night.
We are having a great deal of trouble with our laundry here. I certainly hope they get it settled soon because I am not a very good wash woman.
They finally got around to issuing us cots. I can't say I like the change. It makes it much harder to get up in the morning.
I can see you now, doing the house work in your slacks and sweater. You certainly did look cute the first morning I came up there on my furlough. I shall never forget it.
You should be very careful with Agnes C. You know she gets very tired. Jay certainly is the man about town. He reminds me of somebody, just who, I prefer not to say. Watch him though. That last remark meant no offense but was meant only in fun.
Well dear thats my limit. I love you very much and put it down in the books that we will be married by xmas or just a little after.
Lots and Lots of love
Yours and I mean it
Bill.

Facts about Gilbert and Sullivan

Sir William Schwenck Gilbert 1836-1911, English playwright and poet. He won fame as the librettist of numerous popular operettas, written in collaboration with the composer Sir Arthur Sullivan.

The two men collaborated on fourteen comic operas between 1871 and 1896, of which H.M.S. Pinafore, The Pirates of Penzance, and The Mikado are among the best known.

Sullivan, six years Gilbert's junior, composed the music, contributing memorable melodies that could convey both humor and pathos.

facts about the snail

Snails are one of the earliest known types of animals in the world. There is evidence that they evolved more than 600 million years ago.
All snails are classified as mollusks because of the hard shell that protects their bodies.
They are number two behind insects when it comes to their numbers.
Many species of snails actually hibernate during the colder months of the year. They cover their bodies with a thin layer of mucus which prevents them from drying out. Sometimes snails are also able to hibernate in the summer to survive if they are faced with a severe drought.

unusual fact about fly fishing

Fly fishing has been around for more than 2000 years. There is even evidence of the use of flies tied on bone hooks as early as 1400 BC in Egypt.

Snakes

Saw a milk snake along a deserted trial a few days ago. I haven’t seen one since my days at Boy Scout Camp many years hence.
On the same trial a black snake passed-by a few weeks back , and a time before that a water snake lay on the same stretch taking in the sun. This season I’ve seen more snakes than the last 40 years combined.
Might be time to get a snake bite kit together…another benefit from my scout training.

Health benefits of brandy

Brandy prevents heart disease, reduces obesity, and increases the life span.

facts about General Douglas MacArthur

Douglas, who had always been an unremarkable student, first started to reveal his own intellectual gifts while attending the West Texas Military Academy He thrived in an atmosphere which combined academics, religion, military discipline and Victorian social graces. Douglas received an appointment to the United States Military Academy at West Point in 1898. Over the next four years, he would achieve one of the finest records in Academy history.
He spent his early years in remote sections of New Mexico, where his father, Arthur MacArthur Jr., commanded an infantry company. It was here that he learned to ride and shoot even before he could read or write.

joke

Q. Why do pirates always carry a bar of soap?
A. So, if they're shipwrecked they can wash themselves ashore.

John Wayne

John Wayne name is Marion Michael Morrison. John Wayne has one brother named Robert.
He was born May 26, 1907 Winterset, Iowa His parents were Clyde Morrison & Mary Brown
Duke was 6'4'' and had brown hair and blue eyes and wore a size-11 boot.
The Duke died at age of 72.

Major-General's Song by Gilbert and Sullivan

I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery—
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy—
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

Veni Sancte Spiritus

Come, Holy Ghost, send down those beams,
which sweetly flow in silent streams
from Thy bright throne above.

O come, Thou Father of the poor;
O come, Thou source of all our store,
come, fill our hearts with love.

O Thou, of comforters the best,
O Thou, the soul's delightful guest,
the pilgrim's sweet relief.

Rest art Thou in our toil, most sweet
refreshment in the noonday heat;
and solace in our grief.

O blessed Light of life Thou art;
fill with Thy light the inmost heart
of those who hope in Thee.

Without Thy Godhead nothing can,
have any price or worth in man,
nothing can harmless be.

Lord, wash our sinful stains away,
refresh from heaven our barren clay,
our wounds and bruises heal.

To Thy sweet yoke our stiff necks bow,
warm with Thy fire our hearts of snow,
our wandering feet recall.

Grant to Thy faithful, dearest Lord,
whose only hope is Thy sure word,
the sevenfold gifts of grace.

Grant us in life Thy grace that we,
in peace may die and ever be,
in joy before Thy face. Amen. Alleluia.

Gregorian Chant from the 12th Century sung in Latin of course

joke

Two senior citizens are sitting and talking about the end of life.
1st old gentleman: One never knows how or when!
2nd old man: My grandfather died in the year, the day, and the hour he foretold!
1st: That is extraordinary! How did he ever come to know?
2nd: The judge told him!

Fossils, by Ogden Nash

At midnight in the museum hall
The fossils gathered for a ball
There were no drums or saxophones,
But just the clatter of their bones,
A rolling, rattling, carefree circus
Of mammoth polkas and mazurkas.
Pterodactyls and brontosauruses
Sang ghostly prehistoric choruses.
Amid the mastodontic wassail
I caught the eye of one small fossil.
"Cheer up, sad world," he said, and winked-
"It's kind of fun to be extinct."

to be happy

Gather the crumbs of happiness and they will make you a loaf of contentment.
~Author Unknown

Happy Birthday J P!

"The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune." - Pope Paul VI

Really?

Some +10000 views to the blog in less than a year!

It shows how little our minds really have to do!

Thanks to Mikey...couldn't do it without you and your many disorders.

MOTHER MACHREE

There's a spot in my heart,
Which no colleen may own.
There's a depth in my soul,
Never sounded or known;

There's a place in my mem'ry,
My life, that you fill,
No other can take it,
No one ever will.

cho: Sure, I love the dear silver
That shines in your hair,
And the brow that's all furrowed,
And wrinkled with care.
I kiss the dear fingers,
So toil-worn for me,
Oh, God bless you and keep you,
Mother Machree.

Ev'ry sorrow or care
In the dear days gone by,
Was made bright by the light
Of the smile in your eye,

Like a candle that's set
In the window at night,
Your fond love has cheered me
And guided me right.

CHORUS
I kiss......(repeat)

(Lyric by Rida Johnson Young, Music by Chauncey Olcott
and Ernest R. Ball,1910)

To be happy

Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it. ~Fyodor Dostoevsky

To be happy

Indeed, man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible. ~St. Augustine

Congrats

Congratulations to Everett for his recent graduation magna cum laude.

Experts agree that people with curly hair are smarter than other people.

More advice

Be the change you want to create.
~~ Mahatma Ghandi

More advice

We don’t see things as they are, but rather as we are
~~ Anais Nin


Comment: What about her ex?

More advice

There’s no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes.
~~Billy Connelly

Comment: when you have few cloths it always seems like bad weather.

dumb fishing joke

What did the sardine call the submarine ? A can of people !

for mother's day

Too-A-Loo-Ra-Loo-Ral That's An Irish Lullaby
(J.R. Shannon)

Over in Killarney
Many years ago,
Me Mither sang a song to me
In tones so sweet and low.
Just a simple little ditty,
In her good ould Irish way,
And l'd give the world if she could sing
That song to me this day.

Chorus: "Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, hush now, don't you cry!
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, that's an Irish lullaby."

Oft in dreams I wander
To that cot again,
I feel her arms a-huggin' me
As when she held me then.
And I hear her voice a -hummin'
To me as in days of yore,
When she used to rock me fast asleep
Outside the cabin door.

Some advice

Be yourself; everyone else is taken.
~~Oscar Wilde

Some good Shakespeare

“Love to faults is always blind, always is to joy inclined. Lawless, winged, and unconfined, and breaks all chains from every mind.”

Some good Shakespeare

“Reputation is an idle and most false imposition; oft got without merit, and lost without deserving.”

more Shakespeare

Men's vows are women's traitors!”

Some good Shakespeare

“When words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain.”

Advice from the soccer coach known as "Great FIFA"

"It is very easy to know how to treat your fellow man. You treat him exactly as you would like to be treated."

"When you make a goal, celebrate! Show some joy!"

"If you do not listen and do not focus, you cannot play."

Coach Great FIFA is a former member of the West Indies National Team and now devotes his time to using soccer (football) to teach the boys of St. Lucia about life.

Some good Shakespeare

“The love of heaven makes one heavenly.”

Some good Shakespeare

“The lunatic, the lover, and the poet are of imagination all compact”

Fighting?

“I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it.”
-- George Bernard Shaw

“You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war.”
-- Napoleon Bonaparte

“The painful warrior famous for fight, After a thousand victories, once foil'd, Is from the books of honor razed quite, And all the rest forgot for which he toil'd”
-- William Shakespeare