Why husbands are always correct?

Dear writer,

Alas it is the bane of manhood to help the woman in computaional difficulty.
Hence the man in mankind.
Hence the masculine word ruler.
Hence the su in supreme.


Hope this answers ur ?

jpm

wedding humor

Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding, half shut afterwards.
(Benjamin Franklin)

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
(Rodney Dangerfield)

After his husband forgot the wedding anniversary, his wife tells him: 'You'd better have something in front of the house, tomorrow, which goes from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds.' The next day, she finds, on the road, a bathroom scale.

Al Bundy on Marriage

 Peg, when you married me, was it pre-meditated or a drive-by marriage?

 Peg we've been married for 17 years. Can't we just be friends?

 I deserve to be punished, I married your mother.

 Pretty good for a guy stupid enough to marry you, huh?

 Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.

SO TRUE

Wife's Diary

Bob has been acting so weird lately. Yesterday, we had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for supper. I’d been shopping with Jenny all day, so I thought he was upset because I was a bit late, but he didn't say anything about it.

Conversation over supper wasn't flowing, so I asked him what was wrong; He said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.

Tonight, when he came home from work, he skipped supper altogether, piddled in the garage for two hours, then headed straight for his recliner and sat there quietly staring at the TV. When I asked him about the fire they’d just covered on the news, he said he hadn’t followed the story. It had just been on!

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed, but he was distant and distracted. He didn't even kiss me goodnight -- he just fell asleep. I lay there for hours wondering what was wrong. I don't know how to reach him. I don’t know what to do.

Husband's Diary:

Boat still won’t start. Can't figure it out.

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"There are things that we should tell them"

There's things that we should tell them.
We who have dared to sail the wild seas of matrimony
and lived to tell the tale.

Things about hard work and honesty,
Kindness and respect.
Things about ups and downs and every-days,
forgiveness, forebearance,
the virtue of patience.

But look at them.
These two who stand before us
are splendid in their happiness
and beautiful with love.

There's something we should tell them.

GO.

Go out on the wide open waters
of your union,
with the winds of love behind you
and your future
ahead.

GO.

Sail.

Your ship is stong.
Your sails are full.

And we, your community,
friends and family gathered here
to bear witness to
your marriage vow,

We give you our blessing.
We pledge our support,
We offer our love, and

We tell you,

GO.

Sail.

Live.

And cherish each other,

Always.



this poem was written by my friend and neighbor,Kathy. It was read as part of the ceremony at her daughter's wedding this past Saturday.

a special marriage

Mary Stuart (then 38 yrs) and Connie Smith (then 58 yrs) married in 1997. Both are successful singers and remain happily wed. Congrads!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQoAcmmKxGM

jpr: Life is truly a kicker...perhaps life has more in store for us'ns.

Eskimo Love Song

You are my husband, you are my wife
My feet shall run because of you
My feet dance because of you
My heart shall beat because of you
My eyes see because of you
My mind thinks because of you
And I shall love, because of you.

3rd marriage

" The first time u marry is for love, the second for money, the 3rd for companionship."
Jackie Kennedy

Jpr: hence the argument for polygamy.

Shakespeare Quotations on Marriage

Men are April when they woo, December when they wed: maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives.
(As You Like It 4.1.130-2)

The instances that second marriage move
Are base respects of thrift, but none of love.
(Hamlet 3.2.185-6)


I will be master of what is mine own:
She is my goods, my chattels; she is my house,
My household stuff, my field, my barn,
My horse, my ox, my ass, my any thing.
(The Taming of the Shrew 3.2.228-31)

jpr: The last one is purely for laughs.

hello!

It's gotta be a boy!


jpr: who says a motherhood is not a miracle!

Some attributes of a good wife

That she be of a beautiful soul, Eph 3:16
That she be not contentious, but with a mild and humble character, not given to arguing, That she loves not the things of this world, 1Jo 2:15
That she has a good sense of humor, Pro 15:15


jpr: Not unreasonable!

5 to 1 rule in marriage

It’s not how much you fight, but how you fight and how you resolve your differences. Lasting marriages aren’t marriages where nobody ever fights, but marriages where couples have agreed to resolve their conflicts in specific ways.

The Magic Ratio of 5 to 1. Gottman discovered he could predicate marital success based on the ratio of good to bad interactions between a couple. Successful marriages needed at least 5 positive interactions for each negative one. The more volatile the marriage, the more positive interactions were needed. And when the negative emotions outweighed the positive, the marriage was headed for failure.

What are the negative emotions? Criticism and contempt, defensiveness and withdrawal, loneliness and isolation. You’ll notice “anger” is not listed. This is because only when anger accompanies the negative emotions above, is it destructive.

I Do, I Will, I Have by Ogden Nash

How wise I am to have instructed the butler
to instruct the first footman to instruct the second
footman to instruct the doorman to order my carriage;
I am about to volunteer a definition of marriage.
Just as I know that there are two Hagens, Walter and Copen,
I know that marriage is a legal and religious alliance entered
into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut and a
woman who can't sleep with the window open.
Moreover, just as I am unsure of the difference between
flora and fauna and flotsam and jetsam,
I am quite sure that marriage is the alliance of two people
one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other
never forgetsam,
And he refuses to believe there is a leak in the water pipe or
the gas pipe and she is convinced she is about to asphyxiate
or drown,
And she says Quick get up and get my hairbrushes off the
windowsill, it's raining in, and he replies Oh they're all right,

it's only raining straight down.
That is why marriage is so much more interesting than divorce,
Because it's the only known example of the happy meeting of
the immovable object and the irresistible force.
So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and
combat over everything debatable and combatable,
Because I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life,
particularly if he has income and she is pattable. 

new year's eve wedding

Make at least one New Year's Eve Resolution for your marriage. Make one New Year's resolution each year that will strengthen your bond or make marriage easier.

 Have a silly midnight tradition. Do something you both love at the stroke of midnight each year.

marraige

"There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand:  the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a maiden.

~~Proverbs


"Men are April when they woo, December when they wed: maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives."

~~ Shakespeare


“Do not marry only for a person's looks, for their beauty might become a cause of moral decline. Do not marry for the sake of wealth, as this may become a source of sin. Marry rather on the grounds of religious devotion.”

~~ Muslim saying 


"If you want happiness for an hour -- take a nap. If you want happiness for a day -- go fishing. If you want happiness for a month -- get married. If you want happiness for a year -- inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime -- help someone else."

~~Chinese quote


"Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious. Both are  disappointed."

~~ Oscar Wilde

WORLD'S MOST MARRIAGES

When it comes to most monogamous marriages Glynn Wolfe aka Scotty Wolfe, also holder of most divorces record, is in a league of his own.

During his 88 year life Glynn Wolfe was married 29 times, leaving behind 28 ex-wives and one widow.

The shortest of his marriages was a mere 19 days, while the longest lasted an impressive 7 years.

His first wife was Marcie Walsh McDonald who he married in 1926, his last was Linda Essex who he married as a publicity stunt in 1996 as she was the holder of the record for the most marriages for a female.

some marriage trivia

Over 75% of people who marry partners from an affair eventually divorce.

Hammurabi’s Code (ca. 1790 B.C.), an ancient Babylonian law code, contains some of the oldest known and recorded marriage laws. These early laws defined marriage as a contract that paradoxically served to protect women and restrict them. According to the Code, a man could divorce his wife if she could not bear children or of she was a “gadabout” who humiliated her husband in public and neglected her house. Additionally, she could be “pitched” in a river if she committed adultery

In ancient Greece, Solon (638-538 B.C.) once contemplated making marriage compulsory, and in Athens under Pericles (495-429 B.C.), bachelors were excluded from certain public positions. In Sparta, single and childless men were treated with scorn. In ancient Rome, Augustus (63 B.C.-A.D. 14) passed drastic laws compelling people to marry and penalized those who remained single

marraige

"My mother says to look for a man who is kind....That's what I'll do....I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." -Carolyn, eight years old


"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you....If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." -Kally, nine years old

Corinthians 7:32-35

"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

jpr:easy enough to say!

A Word to Husbands

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.
by Ogden Nash