Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding, half shut afterwards.
(Benjamin Franklin)
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
(Rodney Dangerfield)
After his husband forgot the wedding anniversary, his wife tells him: 'You'd better have something in front of the house, tomorrow, which goes from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds.' The next day, she finds, on the road, a bathroom scale.
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