1) You will never play professional basketball.
2) You swear very well.
3) At least one of your cousins holds political office.
4) You think you sing very well.
5) You have no idea how to make a long story short
6) You are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf.
7) There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone..
8) Much of your food was boiled.
9) You have never hit your head on the ceiling.