some humor

"My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!"
-- anonymous

"The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here.'"
--Jerry Seinfeld


"If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology."
--Jay Leno