what's the deal with the Ukraine? crimea river

Crimea is a MacGuffin.  The ruskie troops there are primarily those permanently stationed in Crimea at a Naval Base.  The real issue is Ukraine.  What I read is that Russia has been buggered about the West pushing Ukraine toward the EU.  This started about 20 years ago under Clinton. Russia was po'd about Ukraine being aligned with Europe rather than Mother Russia.  Understandable.  Here's a map which shows some of the reason Russian, Ukraine, and European Union are knotted together.  The economies of Europe, Russia, and Ukraine are joined at the hip because of oil and gas moving from Russia, through Ukraine, into Europe.  Russia does not want to invade Ukraine - they do not want to form a new Soviet.  They definitely don't want Ukraine in the EU. That would put Russia's Economy and shit at risk.  The end game (sounds geopolitical and all spy-ee) is that Ukraine will be unable to join the EU until their territorial, political,  and governmental disputes with Crimea are resolved.  No country can join EU as long as their borders, territory, and nation status are not fixed and clear, which the Russians will see is never in this case.

As always I offer no excuses or apologies for hubris, errors, or laughable dumbness. I really don't know  bean from a bug;  a toad from a frog; but I thought this analysis was interesting.  Crimea is an autonomous region in Ukraine,  whose parliament voted to become part of Russia.  There is chicanery afoot to be sure.   If you can solve this, send an email to the parliament there.  they can use the help.