Thursday, June 17, 2010

Goofus Minorus_1

Meet Rev Ickes R Bumbry, vicar of queen’s Church Forks Road ,Someford. The pastor is an elderly gentleman who is not known for his scholarly theology. Rather he is easily confused by numbers, has poor vision and a distracting speech impediment. Our cleric is however the first cousin of the bishop who serves the Queen.



“Alewua! Alewua!” The reverend calls as he begins his sermon.

“Aleluia! Aleluia!” Returns the congregation.

“Today’s message takes us beyond knowing the difference between wight and wrong.” The vicar stammers. ‘It is our call to wightousness!”

The community strains to become comfortable.

“When 300 Amonites stood in wightousness against 5000 Hitties, they feared no loss but knew they would be victowious even unto their death.” The old cleric’s voice lifts.

“That day 10,000 died on the field of battle and wightousness pwevailed.” The parson continues.

“Where did la those extra dead soldiers come from?” Mrs. Cartwright whispers to her husband.

“It seems the good reverend counts twice the deficit …much as a government official.” Mr. Cartwright answers.

“The wicked shall be punished!” The reverend adds. “Consider the three criminals that are to be executed for seduction of the Queen.”

“My word! Three unrepentant men seduced her Majesty!” Mrs. Cartwright whispers.

“I believe my dear that sedition was the crime!” Mr. Cartwright corrects.

“Let us pway!” The minister commands.

“Lead me ,guide me along the way,
If you lead me I cannot stway,
Lowd let me walk this day with thee.”

“Amen!” The reverend ends

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