The Magic Ratio of 5 to 1. Gottman discovered he could predicate marital success based on the ratio of good to bad interactions between a couple. Successful marriages needed at least 5 positive interactions for each negative one. The more volatile the marriage, the more positive interactions were needed. And when the negative emotions outweighed the positive, the marriage was headed for failure.
What are the negative emotions? Criticism and contempt, defensiveness and withdrawal, loneliness and isolation. You’ll notice “anger” is not listed. This is because only when anger accompanies the negative emotions above, is it destructive.
I have to agree with the fellow. I've found that a little candy and flowers when you've cheated can make a difference. And if you let your thoughts slip and call her a "disgusting $5#@%" or you tell her to go to hell and die, then give a chance to have a turn with you. Then have a glass of wine, some romantic music, and put together a jigsaw puzzle. It's not all that difficult to make a marriage work. Remember "its the Fracus that Make Us"
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